IndieCatholicMarriage.com
(PLEASE NOTE: The use of terms such as 'bride' and 'groom' are used for historical and reference purposes only. We do not wish to insinuate that traditional roles must be portrayed.)
As we are socially more progressive than other Catholics, we want our couples to consciously face the following items.
Giving Away--The tradition of "giving away the bride" is an antiquated ritual that comes from centuries ago when women were considered property and a marriage was a business transaction.
A man would "give away" his daughter into a marriage in return for some form of compensation (land, cattle, etc.). At Independent Catholic Marriage, we do not believe any person should be "given away" as property.
Instead, we recommend that each member of the couple should walk down the aisle escorted by their parents (or equivalent), which symbolizes the joining of two families. An alternative to this would be for each member of the couple to walk down the aisle by themselves, symbolizing that they each enter into this union consciously and of their own accord.
(In fact, a second alternative would be for the couple to walk down the aisle together, even though they are not married yet. This symbolizes the couple's desire to affirm their love in the union of marriage together, as they operate as a partnership who each enter into the union equally.)
Bridal Party--The tradition of having a bridal party (such as a maid/matron of honor, best man, bridesmaids, groomsmen, etc.) stems from a tradition of warding off evil spirits.
The story goes that having additional people dress up like the bride and groom would confuse evil spirits or jealous guests so the newlyweds could not be harmed. Although a number of official witnesses have been required to validate the marriage, it seems silly to continue this tradition without conscious examination of it.
At Independent Catholic Marriage, we recommend each member of the couple having an assistant (the equivalent of a maid/matron of honor and/or best man) because of the need for at least one official witness for the marriage license while also ensuring each member of the couple has someone to provide emotional support and comfort, as getting married can be a draining experience.
If the couple wishes to have additional members of the bridal party, we recommend it not be extensive, perhaps limiting the number to two or three more. However, having the equivalent of a ring bearer and/or flower girl is welcome, especially if children play the roles (or if there is a more creative idea for the roles).
Escorting--The notion of escorting people arm-in-arm may infer that certain people need additional protection or assistance for some reason. Further, it could create jealousy among people asked to play roles within the bridal party.
At Independent Catholic Marriage, we believe people who have an established familial bond may consider escorting to symbolize family love and unity, but that it should not be required outside of that. Having the couple escorted by their parents prior to the marriage is appropriate for this meaning, but having a matron of honor being escorted by a best man who is not married to (or in a relationship with) the matron seems out of place.
Further, the newlyweds may recess following the ceremony arm-in-arm to symbolize the partnership, so long as it does not imply inequality. Holding hands may be a better option.
Above all, we want couples to understand the true meaning of the symbols and rituals used during the Sacrament of Marriage. The meaning of the ceremony has a much deeper purpose than checking boxes and achieving status.
As we are socially more progressive than other Catholics, we want our couples to consciously face the following items.
Giving Away--The tradition of "giving away the bride" is an antiquated ritual that comes from centuries ago when women were considered property and a marriage was a business transaction.
A man would "give away" his daughter into a marriage in return for some form of compensation (land, cattle, etc.). At Independent Catholic Marriage, we do not believe any person should be "given away" as property.
Instead, we recommend that each member of the couple should walk down the aisle escorted by their parents (or equivalent), which symbolizes the joining of two families. An alternative to this would be for each member of the couple to walk down the aisle by themselves, symbolizing that they each enter into this union consciously and of their own accord.
(In fact, a second alternative would be for the couple to walk down the aisle together, even though they are not married yet. This symbolizes the couple's desire to affirm their love in the union of marriage together, as they operate as a partnership who each enter into the union equally.)
Bridal Party--The tradition of having a bridal party (such as a maid/matron of honor, best man, bridesmaids, groomsmen, etc.) stems from a tradition of warding off evil spirits.
The story goes that having additional people dress up like the bride and groom would confuse evil spirits or jealous guests so the newlyweds could not be harmed. Although a number of official witnesses have been required to validate the marriage, it seems silly to continue this tradition without conscious examination of it.
At Independent Catholic Marriage, we recommend each member of the couple having an assistant (the equivalent of a maid/matron of honor and/or best man) because of the need for at least one official witness for the marriage license while also ensuring each member of the couple has someone to provide emotional support and comfort, as getting married can be a draining experience.
If the couple wishes to have additional members of the bridal party, we recommend it not be extensive, perhaps limiting the number to two or three more. However, having the equivalent of a ring bearer and/or flower girl is welcome, especially if children play the roles (or if there is a more creative idea for the roles).
Escorting--The notion of escorting people arm-in-arm may infer that certain people need additional protection or assistance for some reason. Further, it could create jealousy among people asked to play roles within the bridal party.
At Independent Catholic Marriage, we believe people who have an established familial bond may consider escorting to symbolize family love and unity, but that it should not be required outside of that. Having the couple escorted by their parents prior to the marriage is appropriate for this meaning, but having a matron of honor being escorted by a best man who is not married to (or in a relationship with) the matron seems out of place.
Further, the newlyweds may recess following the ceremony arm-in-arm to symbolize the partnership, so long as it does not imply inequality. Holding hands may be a better option.
Above all, we want couples to understand the true meaning of the symbols and rituals used during the Sacrament of Marriage. The meaning of the ceremony has a much deeper purpose than checking boxes and achieving status.
